Time.

What I did today as I remember it:

6:50 am- Get out of bed. I checked the weather on my phone, which felt like wasted time, but in the end helped me decide to wear something different and I think that was a smart choice. Got dressed, washed my face, packed a lunch, put makeup on. I typically am more organized the night before for the morning, it took me the same amount of time today to do less things than I typically do.

7:19 am- Left the apt.

7:33 am- Got coffee. This took 13 minutes, it annoyed me that it took so long. But I was happy I got coffee.

Right before 8 am- Arrived at school. I was happy I was at school before 8 am. Got ready for the day: made homework copies and then set up the morning. Talked with people about principal drama, this wasted time. I need to not talk about drama. Shit needs to get done.

8:40 am- I took my students to the assembly. Started my teaching day. Checked homework, this was unplanned, not entirely sure why I chose to do it. Taught phonics, reader's workshop, and did a read aloud.

10:35 am- Recess. I went to the bathroom and I don't remember. Taught reading and IWT.

11:50 am- Took students to lunch. One student stayed in for lunch and recess. His behavior annoys me and I don't think he even knows he is doing it all the time.

12:40 pm- ELD. Went better than I expected. I am grateful for sample lessons.

1:20 pm- Read aloud. I don't think the students really like it. Need to figure out this regroup activity better.

1:30 pm- Math. Not so good.

2:20 pm- PE. We did some outside math, that was a positive. We played duck, duck, goose because I was too tired to do anything else. Some students don't like it because they don't get to participate. I don't blame them. I just don't have a better answer.

2:40 pm- More math. I had it in my head that I could do assessments during this time, it didn't work out. I was too tired to deal with it and also needed to get the homework taken care of. I need to tape off the window. I didn't appreciate the parents being early and looking in my window at me doing my thing and the students doing their's. I always feel like parents expect the teacher to be doing something with the kids at all times. I see their kids more than they do.

3:10 pm- Hand out homework and raffle tickets.

3:15 pm- Scrabble to put together students' packet of work. I left it to the last minute because I didn't know what to do about it. I was late to a meeting because of this procrastination. How does one not put things off just because she doesn't want to do it or know  how to do it?

3:40 pm- Meeting with volunteer. Hopefully it is a worthwhile experience. Talk a little bit with kindergarten teacher. She also had a crazy day, it made me think that mine wasn't so bad. Her classroom is more organized than mine. She has been teaching longer, but is still new to the school/Oakland. I am jealous of her more organized classroom. Sometimes I feel defeated that it won't get better, so why bother. We talked about stupid paperwork that has to be done for the principal. The question becomes make it worthwhile and invest in it because it is sound teaching practice or just bullshit the principal.

4:15 pm- Wander back to my room. Talk with 5th grade teacher and rehash some drama and learn new gossip. What good did this do? This is a stretch, but others perhaps learned from my mistake. Talk with the 2nd grade teachers. Not necessary for my life, but I like them. Is that a good enough reason?

4:45 pm- Realize that I need to go and get my stuff together. Go to the bathroom and drive to get Tyler. Talk to my mom on the phone. I have a tendency to multi-task while talking to her, she does the same to me. Does this say that this person is not important enough to just talk to that person?

5 something- Get Tyler. Talk to a friend in the parking lot. Go grocery shopping. Talk about our days. Grocery shopping always takes forever. I wish there was a way to speed it up.

6:46 pm- Get home. I am happy we got home before 7 pm. Tyler takes out dog and I start dinner and put away groceries. The kitchen is a disaster. We were gone and there are almost week old dishes in the sink. It is stress-relieving to wash them. to feel as though I am accomplishing something. We eat, talk, and then clean up the table. I put lunch things and breakfast together and clean out the coffee pot for tomorrow.

Basically 8 pm- Tyler goes and does work and has been working ever since. I get on the computer and start wasting time. I have looked at blogs, pinterest, and facebook since turning the computer on. I had turned it on to send a work email. Ha. Pretty much have spent the past 2 hours vegging out. I feel stuck, I don't know if I should go to paid planning time for ELD tomorrow or go to the post office and come home and water my plants. I don't know which is a better use of my time? Instead of answering that question for myself I have been avoiding it. This is how one wastes two hours, from avoidance and procrastination.

Pros of going to paid planning time:
- extra money
- 2 hours dedicated to planning
- Potentially get ELD kit
- Get to work ahead in ELD

Cons of going:
- late evening
- can't go to the post office until Friday/Saturday

Pros of coming home:
- Go to the post office- peace of mind over mail
- Water plants
- Come home earlier

Cons of coming home:
- No extra money
- Not planning ahead in ELD

My indecision about 2 hours had put me in a grumpy/tired place for these 2 past hours. I think the thing that will be the best for me is to come home and go to the post office and have the peace of mind of getting my certified mail.

I am just tired though. I am tired of teaching work that has to be done at home. I am tired of not fully relaxing. I don't work well at this time after dinner, when I get in bed and chill out. Maybe I need to not get in bed? Maybe I need to not stress myself out with the expectation that I will get work done on weeknights at home? Have certain evenings off and that is ok?

10:25 pm- Typing this. Going to go to bed. Tomorrow is a new day.