Worry.

In writing out how I spent my time, I believe it has made me better about choosing how to spend my time. Perhaps there is some sort of accountability in writing it out.

Realizations from this: I can be indecisive which leads to procrastination. I am indecisive because of worry. Worry is the root of my issue. How does one combat worry?

7:00 am- Woke up. Tyler drove me to work so that he could get the car fixed.

8:20-8:40 am- I wrote another parent letter. I need to send the two out.

1:00 pm- Kids went home. It was a good day at school. Wednesdays are always a good day. I went to a union meeting, I don't know if that was the best use of my time, but I felt like it was good to have my face seen and see what is going on.

2:15 pm- PD. Stupid. Most PDs are. I started taking notes that I thought were useful for me, but it was off-task behavior, but I don't want to waste my time.

3:30 pm- Talked with kindergarten and 2nd grade teachers. This was good. Kindergarten teacher seems stressed. Because we all are, but she seemed especially overwhelmed.

4:00 pm- BTSA coach. I wasn't particularly looking forward to this, but it was really good. I need to make this a useful thing for my teaching and not just something to get through. It is all about perspective, right?

5:30 pm- Tyler picked me up. We were talking in the car and it dawned on me that he is super stressed. It started making me think that I need to be mindful of doing things to make his life less stressful. Another realization with all of this time mindfulness: expectations need to meet reality. I will not ever win an award for super-wife. I will never be able to work and keep house perfectly. Expectation vs. reality.

Dinner- Talked about this with Tyler. He made it clear that this is not his expectation of me and that we are still working on adjusting to life as married couple of full-time worker, full-time student. How do I let go of unrealistic expectations of myself? I will hold myself to a standard of grace, not perfection.

After-dinner- dishes and more stuff for our trip to France. Wasted time looking at someone's blog that I went to college with. That wasn't useful, all it did was lead to judging. Looked at pinterest, sent an email to teachers, and an email to a friend. I like it when day-to-day life includes meaningful conversations. Now I am here. It is 10:14 pm. I should probably do some school work, but I have no interest  in said school work. I am tired and want to relax. We shall see.