Syndrome.

The final post in my IBS series is syndrome. Syndrome can be defined as the pattern of symptoms that characterize or indicate a particular social condition.

The social condition I have that is the most syndrome-like is my tendency to worry. I try to use semantics to make it sound as though I want to be aware of my circumstances and be prepared and have plans, all things that sound wonderful. But I worry for no reason. I have the day off and I have things that need to be accomplished and instead of getting around to them, I worry about them. I worry what people think about me because I am sitting on my couch instead of doing them. I worry that Tyler will be mad at me. I worry about my dog throwing up this morning and that I should call the vet. I worry that what I am doing for my friend's wedding is not going to turn out. I worry about school. I worry about moving. I worry about getting an apartment. I worry about moving out of this apartment. I worry about getting a job. I worry about telling my students that I am leaving. I worry about church stuff. I worry about my vacation. I worry about my intestines. I worry about my weight. I worry about my hair. I worry about the car. I worry about what I am going to eat.

Ultimately, I worry that I am not good enough. I come off as a confident person, but the truth is that I fake it really well.

How do I combat the feeling of being inadequate? I can tell myself over and over again that I am good enough, just the way I am, but I don't necessarily believe it. What can I do to actually believe it?

I feel small whispers inside myself that say: Take risks. Take care of yourself. Don't be scared.

I am going to take that as the answer.